I’m participating in a Celebrity Death Pool at work. Yesterday each of us turned in a list of 50 people who we are betting will die between now and September 30, plus a $10 contribution to the pool. Scoring is as follows:
125 minus the age at death
+ 25 for exclusives (no one else in the competition has them on the list)
+ 10 for accidental/violent death
+ 5 for Republicans/evil
And wouldn’t you know it? Today someone died whom I almost put on my list: Dale Messick, creator of “Brenda Starr,” at 98. (As the organizer said, I’ll almost get points, then.)
My original plan was to use the first 50 names from this chart. But then I figured that people who are already way above the age of average life expectancy must be particularly hardy and would probably be less likely to die in the next six months than people who are closer to that life expectancy. So off from the list went Dale Messick and some others, in place of some slightly younger people. (I also took her off because I hadn’t heard of her. But duh — now that she’s died, I have heard of her.)
Anyway, here’s my complete list. I was also going to include Michael Schiavo, but I forgot.
Brooke Astor
Peter Jennings
Phyllis A. Whitney
Gerald Ford
Oleg Cassini
Lady Bird Johnson
Norman Mailer
Rosa Parks
Art Linkletter
Milton Friedman
Michelangelo Antonioni
Jane Wyman
Ralph Edwards
Kurt Waldheim (evil)
William Westmoreland
Norman Lloyd
Ruth Hussey
John Kenneth Galbraith
Claude Lévi-Strauss
Simon Wiesenthal
Harry Morgan
Herman Wouk
Ernest Gallo
Yitzhak Shamir
Peter Rodino, Jr.
Phil Rizzuto
Eugene McCarthy
Luise Rainer
Robert McNamara (evil)
Walter Cronkite
C. Everett Koop
Daniel Schorr
Olivia de Havilland
Kitty Carlisle Hart
James Doohan
Beverly Cleary
Paul Harvey
Joseph Barbera
Arthur C. Clarke
Mitch Miller
Gian Carlo Menotti
Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.
Ingmar Bergman
Kirk Douglas
Don Pardo
Sherwood Schwartz
Shelby Foote
Karl Malden
Billy Graham
J.D. Salinger
What sort of sick company do you work for and are they hiring?
For the record, Brooke Astor is one of the loveliest and kindest women I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. She’s a true class act.
You forgot Deep Throat, who is rumored to be ill.
And heck, while I’m at it, why not Rehnquist? Might get a 2-fer with him if it turns out HE is Deep Throat.
Yeah, I was also going to put Rehnquist on, but I forgot (and I’ve heard those rumors about him being Deep Throat too).
Quite an interesting list there. You forgot Gloria Stuart, who’s 96. But I don’t believe Gloria’s planning to die. Last time I saw her (about two months ago) she looked absolutely splendid, with all her faculties intact.
And I trust Kitty Carlisle Hart ( my role model) isn’t planing to shuffle off this mortal coil anytime soon either.
As for those who are ready to pop off, Jerry Falwell is still in a coma. Not sure if he’s “on the tube” as yet.
Jerry Salinger’s passing will doubtless bring with it the release of an avalanche of writings he’s kept hidden from the prying eyes of mere peons such as you and I.
If he’s still in a coma, either a) I am going to his church on Sunday to see a miracle before my own eyes, b) He’s way more powerful than anyone including his biggest followers give him credit for, or c) Rex Bowman is going to be very embarassed.
Odds are, however, that Tin Man leaving him off the list won’t hurt him in the office pool.
Falwell plans return to pulpit Sunday
BY REX BOWMAN
TIMES-DISPATCH STAFF WRITER Apr 7, 2005
The Rev. Jerry Falwell plans to preach from the pulpit of Thomas Road Baptist Church on Sunday after spending nine days in a Lynchburg hospital recovering from a respiratory ailment.
I am so pleased to see my name NOT on your list.
Charo is conspicuously absent.
How about Eddie Albert. He’s got to be older than dirt. Is he even still alive?
James Doohan has died 20 JUL 05