Coming Distractions

On the ride home from Manhattan last night, I was sitting on the PATH train, reading The Fellowship of the Ring. Sitting across from me was an Asian guy whose hair was either highlighted or dyed blond. He wore a tanktop that showed off his defined arms. My gaydar went off, but I’m not really into Asian guys, and anyway, he seemed absorbed in his book.

More appealing was the guy sitting next to me, a white guy in a blue soccer shirt and orange athletic shorts. I love athletic shorts, particularly orange ones. He had thin, sinewy arms and toned, hairy legs. While looking down at my book I kept glancing over discreetly at his skin, and I was getting a little hard.

I got off at my stop, and he got off as well. So did the Asian guy, and so did a bunch of other people. My eyes lingered on the soccer guy’s legs as I was getting off the train, and I was still lusting after him when I heard, “Are you reading that because of the movie?” It was the Asian guy with the dyed hair, and he was saying this to me. Of course, being an ordinary gay male, I wondered if I was being picked up. I wasn’t particularly interested, but I told him that I was in fact reading the book because of the movie, and also because of the recent article on Salon, and that I’d actually read The Lord of the Rings before. He told me he’d read it seven or eight times. As we were walking up the stairs he told me about all the miniatures they have for sale that are based on the images from the movie. “Wow, already?” I said, seeing as how the first movie isn’t coming out until December.

We both took the same stairway out of the station and wound up walking along the same street, which I always take to my apartment. We were walking along and he was telling me all about who he’d heard was in the movie. I didn’t really want to know any of this, because I’m trying to avoid as much information about it as possible so I can watch it in December with a fresh eye. But then he mentioned that a particular twentysomething actress was in the movie, and that he’d seen pictures of her in costume. “She looks really hot,” he said, sounding exactly like a frat boy standing at a keg. “Oh really,” I said, laughing politely.

We walked on a little further. “Well, good night,” he suddenly said with a friendly smile on his face, walking into a parking lot.

“So long,” I said, continuing on to my apartment.

Unfortunately, I have no idea what happened to the soccer guy.