Zzzzz….

I don’t know when you’ll be able to read this, given that the Blog*spot server is down, but I figure I may as well post something anyway. I’ve been suffering from withdrawal. I can’t read East/West or Insipidity or any of those other blogspotting blogs. Dammit, entertain me!

Early in the week I had a pretty bad cold, but it seems to have passed its peak. Yesterday I went to the doctor, because my boss was hit by a pretty bad cold/fever combination a month or so ago, and I’m a hypochondriac. The doctor took a look at me and told me it seems to be just a cold, although he took a throat culture anyway. He prescribed me Claritin to help reduce the congestion.

In other doctor-related news, for the last few weeks I’ve had this weird little thing on my upper lip. I must have cut it or chapped it, and it didn’t heal correctly. So when I was at the doctor’s office yesterday, he took a look at it, and he referred me to a plastic surgeon to have it removed. Yikes! I thought the doctor would send me to a dermatologist, but no. He says that if it’s not removed correctly, it could make my upper lip all puckered or something. And I certainly don’t want that. So tomorrow morning I’m seeing this plastic surgeon. When I talked to the receptionist on the phone, she pondered whether it would require stitches. I hope not. Yeesh. Anyway, I’ve had a fear of plastic surgeons ever since I saw a particular episode of “The X-Files” back in the fourth season, and I’m trying to just relax about it. No biggie.

Meanwhile, yesterday afternoon I had an interview at the New Jersey attorney general’s office. They have offices in Newark and Trenton, and I stated that I would want to be placed in the Newark office, because I live so close to Newark and so far from Trenton. I was interviewing for the position of Deputy Attorney General; that’s really less impressive than it sounds — there are about 500 deputies. Basically, I’d be an attorney who represents the state, and I’d work in a particular division. Every person who has had my current clerkship and who has interviewed with them has been hired. The only problem is that you have to make a three-year commitment. I think that’s a little unreasonable. If you leave before your three years are up, your record states that you have resigned “not in good standing.” I suppose that’s easily explainable to another potential employer, but it still doesn’t sound good.

I was also dismayed to learn yesterday that their office has recently instituted a residency requirement. If you work for them, you must live in New Jersey. This must be a new thing, because I was under the impression that you could live anywhere. My heart sank as the interviewer told me this, but I just kept on nodding, and when he asked if any of the conditions would be problematic, I said, “Not at all.” But I’ll have to think about this.

I was riding the train back home from the interview, thinking all of this over, and I decided I have two choices. I can try to find a job in New York City, or at least a job that would allow me to live there; or I could take this job — assuming I get it — and stay in Jersey City.

Given everything I’ve written here about my strong passionate desire to live in Manhattan, it might seem strange for me to say that I’ve been thinking it might not be so bad to stay in Jersey City. When it comes down to it, my two biggest problems with my current living situation are my high rent and my noisy block. I could solve those two problems merely by looking for a different apartment in the same general area. My current street is a main thoroughfare, and my building — which has three apartments — is the only non-Hispanic one on the block. Everyone else seems to have this eternal block party. These large groups of people just hang out on the street, blasting Puerto Rican or Dominican music from their parked cars. Fortunately, my bedroom is in the back of the apartment, but it’s still annoying. Whenever I’m walking to and from my apartment I feel kind of nervous. But if you go just two blocks south, you’re on a quieter, one-way street of brownstones.

I’d still have some drawbacks — whenever I come home from Manhattan late on a Friday or Saturday night, the PATH train is packed with all these noisy drunk people. I call it “the paddy wagon.” (Although, if I go down to the World Trade Center and take the PATH home from there, it’s much quieter and less crowded.) I also have this inferiority complex about where I live. I tend to feel that everyone I know in Manhattan looks down on me because I live in Jersey City, or pities me, neither of which feels so great. I also feel like no Manhattanite would want to date someone who lives in Jersey City. But I could be wrong.

There are upsides. Jersey City is still really close to Manhattan, for one thing. For another, in Jersey City I could probably get a better and quieter place than in Manhattan for the same money. I’m worried that any place I looked at in Manhattan that I could afford would be noisy and shabby. Perhaps I should put off living in Manhattan until I’m making around 50 or 60K.

I could continue to look for a different job that would pay more and allow me to live in Manhattan, but a) I usually seem to choose the path of least resistance, and b) making more money usually means a job is less appealing, right?

As for that whole grad school thing — I don’t think it’s something I want to do after all. I wrote that entry on Tuesday morning, and by Tuesday afternoon I’d decided it was probably overkill. Grad school would kill my interest in history. And I don’t particularly want to teach, so there’s no point in making such a big sacrifice. I can read all the history I want — and possibly even write books — without going through grad school.