My Ideal Day

I wrote this in June 1999 in response to an exercise in Barbara Sher‘s book Wishcraft. You’re supposed to write about your ideal day, without regard to practicality; this is supposed to get you in touch with your dreams. If you’re trying to figure out what you want to do in life, I can’t recommend Barbara Sher’s books highly enough. Her ideas are very practical. She’s fantastic.

Lots of what I wrote below is kind of outdated, but it’s a window into where I stood, and what my goals were, almost two years ago. If I did this exercise today, it might be very different. Anyway, without further fanfare… My Ideal Day.

I wake up around 8:00 or 8:30 in the morning, in my king or queen-size bed, which I of course share with my boyfriend. I have enough time to get ready. When I feel like it – usually by 9:30 or 10 – I walk into work. I’m in charge, so nobody is there to tell me I’m late. There are several people who work there – happy, dedicated people, a team – they are a pretty unique group, too, I love ’em all, my boyfriend and I both do – and they are happy to see me. There are lots of windows and plants, too, here in this building in the city. Plenty of sunlight.

I have my own office, spacious, with my own computer, my own nice things on the walls, plus a window and a plant would be nice. I can have privacy but I’m accessible to everyone else, too.

I check my e-mail. Some are fan letters from people who love the latest book I’ve written on gay life – they admire me, and they are so thankful to me for helping them change their lives and feel good about being gay. I thank them – answering as many as possible, because people get a kick out of getting a personal response from someone whom they’re a fan of, and I want them to get that kick.

I have to write my column for The Advocate, which I’ve been working on. Besides that, one of my helpers comes in and tells me that some reporter wants a quote about the latest gay issue, a response to something someone has said, perhaps. I call the person, or take the call, and chat for a while.

I have to help design a website for our organization, perhaps containing links to various resources or publications.

During the day I also have meetings with the people I work with – we have something we’re working on together, towards our goal of equality and acceptance for gays. I also have to respond to invitations for a benefit, perhaps. And someone wants me to give a speech on the anniversary of Matt Shepard’s death, or something. And Ellen DeGeneres is in town – she’d like to meet with me too.

Lunch is with Ellen; or perhaps with my co-workers. Or I meet my boyfriend. At any rate, we eat in the park, or at a nice deli, or in the workplace. It’s a leisurely lunch.

In the afternoon, I mostly write, work on my book, or meet with other activists, Congressmen, etc. If I have no meetings, I can of course do my writing at home, where there is a porch with plants and trees around – a screened porch – or my own special writing room. Again with access to the Internet, through a cable modem of course.

My boyfriend comes home in the early evening. Or perhaps he works at home. At any rate, we can relax together, whatever. For dinner, we go out as usual, meeting our group of friends and whomever they or we have brought along. Because there are always new and interesting people to meet. Or perhaps we see a movie. It doesn’t really matter – we do whatever we want in the evenings.

Sometimes I get to travel to different cities, where I give speeches, or perhaps I’m even interviewed on TV about my latest book. It could be fiction or nonfiction. LA, NY, the Midwest, wherever. I get to see the nation, perhaps even the world, but more importantly the US.