From today’s (mostly bad) reviews of Tarzan:

“Me, critic; you lame!”
“You, ‘Tarzan’! Me, Agonized!”
“You Tarzan, me disgruntled”
“You Tarzan. Me looking at watch.”

Then there’s:

BUNGLE IN THE JUNGLE
‘Tarzan’ a bungle in the jungle
Fumble in the Jungle

My favorite sentence comes from the New York Post: “Disney’s new musical swung shakily into the Richard Rodgers Theatre last night, and as far I’m concerned, it can swing right back out again.”