The Play About the Baby
I saw the play about the baby last night.
What play about what baby?
No, no, no. I saw The Play About the Baby last night. By Edward Albee. You know, the guy who wrote Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf 40 years ago? Yup, he’s still alive and kicking.
The play’s message wasn’t very original, but it was a pleasure to watch. Terrific use of language, and some hilarious moments to counter the pessimism. Marian Seldes was a real treat. And there was nudity. An incredibly cute, fresh-faced young guy — buck naked. Well-hung, too! (There was a naked woman, too, but I didn’t really notice.) During the rest of the play, the guy wore just a pair of blue jeans with a hole in it and a white t-shirt, and his feet were bare. Very sexy.
Unfortunately, my theater curse kicked in. When I see a play or musical, there’s almost always an understudy in an important role. (Just ask Mike.) This was only a four-character play, and yet the most important character was played by a standby. He was terrific, though. I wouldn’t even have known he was filling in.
It’s so annoying, though. This happens almost every time I go to the theater. In Tick, Tick… Boom!, the lead actor was out. (And there were only three actors. Again, the standby was terrific, though.) In Ragtime, Brian Stokes Mitchell was out. In Rent, Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal were BOTH out. (I wanted to scream.) When I went to see A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, Nathan Lane was out, so we exchanged our tickets for another performance. When we finally saw the show, Nathan Lane was there, but another main actor was out. I’ve reached the point where whenever I see a show, I’m paranoid that a major actor’s going to be out. It’s a good thing I don’t have a ticket to see Madonna in concert, because she’d probably be M.I.A.
In one of those New Yorkish experiences, the actor Edward Norton was in the audience last night. (No, not that one.) I recognized him in the lobby during intermission. He was wearing a gray pullover tucked into a pair of black pants and he was with some woman. My friend CanadaGirl came out of the restroom, and I moved in close to her and whispered, “Do you know who Edward Norton is? I think he’s standing over there.” Of course she turned around and very obviously looked over, at which point he and his date/friend/girlfriend walked out of the lobby and presumably back to their seats. It wasn’t a very big theater, and our seats were up in a box, so before the second act began I scanned the orchestra seats and found him. During the second act I kept looking down at him because I wanted to see how a well-known actor watches other actors. Whenever I looked down he was sitting with his right elbow on the armrest, his face resting in his right hand — his thumb and his middle finger holding up his chin, and his index finger lying along his cheek — with a bemused smile on his face. I guess he enjoyed it. And from some websurfing for this post, I learned that he’s acted in one of Albee’s other plays, Fragments.
I’d be such a starfucker if only it wouldn’t be so totally and completely humiliating. It’s kind of pointless, anyway, considering that famous people are just people, just as normal or abnormal as anyone else.
Which brings a thought to mind: Have you ever wondered if famous people read blogs? What if Michael J. Fox or Tom Cruise or Madeline Albright or Al Gore sits there in front of a computer screen, just clicking away? What if there’s some famous closeted gay actor out there who can’t start his day without catching up on the doings of the gay blogging circuit?
After all, celebrities surf the Web, too! Right?
Tin Man, we ARE celebrities, goddamnit! We have audiences, we get recognized in public, we struggle with mainaining private lives behind our public ones! SCREW Ed Norton! (Which wouldn’t be so unpleasant, no.) He’s nothing but an industry peer. You should have gone up and asked him about his latest project, and gossiped about Brad and Jennifer or Richard and Jonno or something.
Dang Sparky, you took the words right out of my mouth.
I categorically deny any philosophy which asserts that I am not a celebrity. Blog that!
Do you have any idea what an understudy’s job is? This is an actor who usually has to learn a minimum of two roles in a show, barely gets any rehearsal with the director or even the entire company (usually just a production stage manager) but still has to be perfect right out of the gate (the other actors have had full rehearsals, previews, and performances), has to go on with little more than an hour’s notice, has to not only fulfill the regular requirements of the role, but also has to satisfy the quirky onstage relationships that the other actors have come to rely on but that you’ve never rehearsed or heard about until that night (“On that third line, dear, try to be near the table so I don’t have to reach too far behind you because then I lose the laugh”). All of that, plus the added pleasure of having to listen to a stupid audience groan when the understudy’s announced. Even when they’ve never heard of the person he’s replacing. It’s the absolute hardest job in an absolutely impossible business. So, please, please, don’t talk about seeing understudies like it’s ruined your night. Without them, everyone would just have to toddle on home and watch reruns of “Facts of Life.”
I’m not pissed at the understudies. I’m annoyed at the regular actors for being out sick on the very night that I’m seeing the show. :) I totally appreciate how hard the understudy’s job is, and major kudos to that person for doing it, and usually they do a great job. It didn’t make it any less disappointing that I couldn’t see Anthony Rapp, though.
Seeing the understudy is only a problem every so often. When I saw The Scarlet Pimpernel, Terrence Mann was being covered by someone in the chorus who couldn’t hit the high notes and substituted lower ones. And at Putting it Together one night, two of the three men in the cast were sick, so Ruthie Henshall’s understudy covered Bronson Pinchot. There were a few range problems there, too.
Some stand-up comic used to have a joke about understudies and Madonna concerts: “Imagine if you went to see Madonna live in concert, and you got there, and it was announced just beforehand that at tonight’s performance, Madonna would be played by Family Ties‘s Tina Yothers.”
Maybe these people don’t have as much time to blather online about their days as we do.
Or maybe, and this is what I believe, most celebrities just aren’t that interesting and don’t know how to write well. It might be novel reading a blog by a famous actor, but would it really be entertaining? Seems to me it would get old real fast. Boring content is boring content, no matter who puts it out. I should know, I manufacture tons of the stuff.
don’t forget that a concert and a play are two very different things. you buy a ticket to see a production, not a performer, when you see a play.
i’ve never felt cheated by seeing an understudy. sometimes they have been even better than the full-time actor. besides, what’s an actor? merely another thing you have to light….
What about Jennifer and me?
Oh, Brad, I’m afraid THAT sort of gossip is too juicy for polite society. We all know about your predilection for leading starlets down the road to ruin, aftr all.