It’s easy, if you’re straight, to file away the gay marriage issue in a little folder in your mind, to render it, essentially, inessential. It can fall into the category of “bones you throw the religious right because things could be so much worse.†Or “things that would be great in a perfect world.†Or “what’s the big deal?†because you don’t actually get what a big deal it is to be able to get married when you’ve never had to consider the alternative.