I’m Gonna Be a Contender

I’m sick. I have a fever of about 100.0 and a sore throat and an achy body. I’ve also had some sort of sinus clogging behind my right ear for several weeks now, so tomorrow morning I’m going to the doctor to get myself all taken care of.

And I’m going to write a book.

Well, not tomorrow.

But last night in therapy, I realized that that’s what I should be doing. I love New York, and I love American history, and I love to write. But fiction has never really seemed my style. I enjoy facts, and I enjoy learning, and I enjoy seeking out truth (Exhibit A: this website), and I find some satisfaction (even if not always enjoyment) in research.

So I’m going to write a history book of some sort. I’m going to do something along the lines of David McCullough’s work. Yeah, apparently he white-washed John Adams’s personality in his new biography of him (that’s what they say — I haven’t read it), but it’s still supposed to be a fine piece of writing, and his book about the Brooklyn Bridge is supposed to be terrific.

So, never having written a history book before, I’m going to try to write one. Hey, why not? I have nothing to lose and everything to gain — and, more importantly, to learn. I have no idea where to begin and I’m not even sure yet what I’m going to write about. But it will probably have something to do with New York City.

After the first book, the second and third should be easier. Hahaha.

I want to write histories and biographies and be one of those people who’s interviewed on PBS and shows up to provide some historical perspective for the TV networks on election night — people like Doris Kearns Goodwin, Mr. McCullough himself, Stephen “World War Two Is Still Going On” Ambrose.

That’s only one of the things I want to do in my life. I want to do other things, too.

I admire people who manage to succeed in several different fields. Well-rounded people are so cool. Thomas Jefferson — politician, botanist, architect, university founder — was one of those. Leonard Bernstein — conductor, composer, writer, teacher, pianist, TV personality, and one my idols — was another one.

I want to be one of those people.

I’m trying to learn, though, that I should do these things just for the sake of doing them, not for what they can bring me. My friend who’s going to Antarctica next month — he doesn’t worry about the significance of what he does, he doesn’t worry about why he’s doing things. He just does things for the fun of it, and he’s managed to do lots of things. Me, I always worry about the significance, the consequences, will it be good enough, will it be big enough. I get weighed down by caution, responsibility. I’m learning not to be like that anymore. I’m learning to do things just for the sheer enjoyment of doing them. To take risks — like writing a book when I’ve never done anything like it before.

I’m kinda psyched about the whole thing.

And I’m gonna do it, too.