How straight acting are you? I found this quiz that can measure your level of straight acting-ness. On a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being “the ultimate in straight acting” and 10 being “queen status,” I scored a 3, “mostly straight acting,” described as follows:

You lead a normal everyday life and it’s ‘no questions asked’ as people just assume you are straight. Every once and awhile a very aware person might notice something that causes them to think ‘fem’ but it’s a fleeting thought because you turn around and surprise them with more masculine traits before they even have time to fully analyze the last one.

That’s about what I would have expected.

But to be honest, I don’t like the phrase straight acting. If you suck dick, you’re not exactly acting straight, unless a) you’re trying to collect DNA evidence and you just happened to lose your eyedropper or b) you’re female. (I’m not really sure who’s reading this, but if you’re someone who already knows me and you’re shocked that I would use the imagery of fellatio — so shocked, in fact, that your pristine image of me has been shattered — then I apologize. Please try to make my next image out of Pyrex.)

In the chat rooms, you often see guys who call themselves straight acting. They also usually refer to themselves as “college dude” or “hot dude” or “[adjective] dude.” Dude! You’d think they were all trying to be Keanu Reeves. (And you know the rumors about him. Ironic, huh.)

I knew a guy in college who was incredibly effeminate. Yet he had a really beautiful girlfriend/fiancee. So, either we all knew something she didn’t, or she knew something we didn’t. Anyway, he was probably sleeping with her. So, was he straight acting?

I’m probably philosophizing too much. After all, given the choice between meeting a masculine guy and meeting an effeminate guy, I’d choose the masculine guy. Why? It’s probably some remaining internalized homophobia* combined with the sheer weight of physical attraction. I’m drawn to guys who pretty much pass for straight. (Um, who pass for straight in most instances, anyway.)

*(Homophobia is another word that makes me a little uneasy; the word implies “fear,” and while fear is probably a big reason why lots of people are anti-gay, I don’t think anti-gay attitudes are always based on fear. Homophobia is a loaded word, almost as much as lifestyle is.)