Dean writes that the Internet is ruining urban nightlife. But I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing.

“No more need for small talk, or extricating yourself maturely from a dead-end conversation.” I tend to disagree… I mean, bars aren’t really conducive to small talk in the first place. I can’t remember the last time I actually met someone in a bar. On the Internet, you really can communicate with people, and small talk is required there, too. Many of those people may turn out to be duds, but you can still find a couple of interesting folks.

“And no more chance you’ll meet somebody who hasn’t made it past the parameters of your search for age, body type, race, income, education level, employment status, commitment to fitness and taste in music.” True, but if someone sets up these parameters for himself, aren’t those parameters going to apply in a bar just as much as online? We set up these parameters because they’re based on experience. We know what we want and what we don’t want. If I’m at a bar, I’m not going to pay much attention to those who don’t fit my tastes. At least on the Internet, we can do some filtering. I know… you can say that in person, there’s at least the chance that you’ll be unexpectedly drawn to someone who doesn’t fit your preselected parameters. But online, you can be unexpectedly drawn to someone who can communicate well, which you may not have known if you had just seen the person from across the bar.

I think that Dean’s point does make sense from two perspectives.

One, it makes sense if you’re going to a bar just to look for sex. Like sexual attraction, bars are primarily about the visual. And anyway, if it’s all about sex, then the downsizing of urban nightlife isn’t much of a loss. Sex can be found anywhere, anytime. But if the goal is to meet interesting people, I don’t know if loud, crowded bars have ever been good for that. At least online, you can communicate with people. Of course, the problem online is that for many people, chatrooms cease to be a means and instead become an end in themselves. They go there to chat, to while away their time — not to meet up with someone. I think there’s a third option: besides bars and the Internet, there are the friendlier ways of meeting people — social groups, friends of friends, and parties (where, because you already know several people, the social interactions become easier).

Dean’s point also makes sense from the “joy of life” perspective. It can be so damn fun to go to a bar, see the tight-shirted guys, be overwhelmed by the sounds and the sights and the smells. In that case, maybe it is a loss. But then you can always just go to the circus.