The Only Sure Things in Life

Death…

I woke up from a really freaky dream this morning. I was at some sort of get-together at someone’s apartment. I was standing, talking to someone, and on a sofa next to us was Michael Jackson — not the current plasticized Michael Jackson but the late-1970’s adolescent Michael Jackson. He was playing a video game; he was holding a joystick and the game was appearing on a TV screen. He seemed to be sexually interested in me, and after a while he asked if I wanted to play the game. So I took the controls, and then something different appeared on the screen.

It was a portrayal of what happens to you after you die.

It was from the point of view of a recently-departed soul and it showed what the soul witnesses during its transition between life and death.

First the soul was viewing its own funeral, experiencing the grief of the living. On the screen a woman’s feet appeared — it was from her point of view, looking down at her feet as she walked. She was walking through snow and was dropping rose petals with each slow step, and you could hear her sniffling and sobbing. All you could see were her feet stepping in the crunching snow, and the rose petals, and all you could hear was her sobbing. It was a very stylized expression of grief.

Then the soul began its transit to the next life. The direction seemed to be downward, but it didn’t necessarily seem like the soul was going to Hell. On the way down, the soul encountered friendly familiar beings who were responsible for its orientation to its new life. One of these friendly beings was the soul’s long-ago-departed childhood pet — a dog — which appeared in the form of a cartoon. But suddenly the cartoon dog was no longer comforting the soul but was instead reclining in the air next to the soul, as if lying on an invisible couch, and was communicating all its personal problems to the soul, making hand motions as it spoke, and so forth. The dog was talking more loudly and more insistently, sounding more and more self-absorbed, overwhelming the already confused soul instead of helping it adjust to its new life.

After that I woke up, completely bewildered and more than a little unnerved.

What does this mean? Michael Jackson and a video game were in my dream because I had encountered them recently — I had read about them in the news or something. But what about the creepier stuff? Do the dog and the soul represent different sides of myself? Am I overwhelming myself (or others) with too many personal issues? Is all this self-doubt becoming too unhealthy for me, keeping me from being content and happy?

Or does the dog represent my parents? Do parents impede their children’s growth and development and their transition to adulthood by spending too much time playing out their own internal issues instead of focusing on what their children need to become confident, secure adults?

…and Taxes

On a more earth-bound matter, tonight I did my federal income tax return, and it appears that for the first time ever, I actually owe tax. I was expecting a refund as in the past, and I was looking forward to using it to pay off some more of my debt, so imagine my surprise when I realized that I owe almost the same amount that I received as a refund last year.

I think maybe I wouldn’t be so annoyed with George W. Bush’s tax plan if a larger portion of his proposed tax cut went to those of us on the lower end of the scale.