For the fourth time in a year and a half, I’ve been told by someone (not someone I’ve mentioned in the blog recently) that I’m physically attractive and that I’m friendship material, but that the person isn’t romantically interested in me. I hadn’t yet made up my mind about what I wanted from the guy — hadn’t really spent enough time with him to know — although this makes things easier.

What I’m more concerned about is that this is the fourth time this has happened to me in a year and a half. Four guys in that time period have signaled to me that they find me physically attractive and that they want to be my friend, but that they don’t want to date me.

Ruminating on this probably won’t help matters. I figure I’m too anxious and too emotive. I figure what I need to do is shed the self-pity, pretend to be more self-confident, keep my problems to myself, be noncommunicative, and not give a flying fuck about what anyone else thinks.

Of course, it’s 5:00 in the morning as I’m writing this, and I’ve been kept up all night by my upstairs neighbor playing music, so I’m not exactly thinking clearly. But maybe it’s time I stopped thinking so clearly.