Aftermath

Yesterday afternoon — after cancelling my dinner plans — I met up with Mike for lunch. We went to the White Horse Tavern, where we had to move from our first table because I couldn’t stand the cigar smoke from the guy next to me. Our next table was right near this group of about ten people who seemed to be reciting something Shakespearean; it turned out they were reading King Lear aloud. Go figure. Anyway, Mike and I had a nice lunch.

I didn’t do much for the rest of the day; stopped by my apartment, brought my laundry back to my parents’ house — I’m still watching the dog — and went grocery shopping; I also watched “Saturday Night Live” for the first time in quite a while. Conan O’Brien hosted, and it was one of the funnier episodes I’d seen in a long time. I assume that in addition to hosting, Conan helped write some the sketches, as he used to do. I particularly enjoyed Moleculo — “The Molecular Man!” Major excitement, I tell ya.

I’m still trying to get used to the idea that the person I’d been conversing with for the past few weeks has turned out not to exist. I mean, he does exist, but not in quite the way I’d thought. When he confessed the truth to me yesterday, he told me that other than his age, he’d been truthful; everything he’d told me about his life, his ex-boyfriends, his college experiences, were all true, it’s just that the time frame was different. But I feel like I was played for a fool, even though he apparently didn’t intend any malice. And yet, I’m still sort of curious to meet him. I might wind up doing so at some point.

On the other hand, I’ve realized that almost every gay person I’ve met in the last couple of months has come through the Internet, and I’m tired of devoting so much emotional energy to a person before I actually meet him and find myself disappointed. I’m tired of getting to know the warm creamy center of a person before discovering the crispy crunchety outer shell. I want to be shallow. I want to become smitten by someone purely physically first, and only then do I want to find out that the person is intelligent and charming to boot.

I need to find better, old-fashioned ways of meeting people. It would probably be good to volunteer, to join some other gay social groups and so forth. And it seems to me that another great way to meet people would be through people I already know; there’s not a better recommendation than one that comes from a friend who can vouch for the person. So I need to go to more parties. So I need to meet more people who throw them.