Dr. Teeth

I have to see a dentist. I have a pain in my upper back left tooth (not its real name). I’m so dentophobic; I haven’t seen a dentist in a year and a half. But it really pisses me off that even though I brush twice a day and floss every morning, I have a tooth pain. I hope I don’t need a root canal.

Three tooth-related experiences:

1) When I was 14 or 15, I went to the dentist in order to get a filling put in. It took somewhat longer than previous fillings, and it seemed a little more painful than previous fillings. When it was over, the dentist said, “Okay, we’re all done with your root canal.” What? Well, it turned out that he hadn’t made a mistake; I’d actually needed a root canal, and he’d told my mom, but they’d decided not to tell me, because it would be easier if I didn’t know. And you know what? They were right.

2) When I was in elementary school I had to see an orthodontist in order to get a retainer. After examining my mouth, the orthodontist (whose name was Dr. Binder, of all things) remarked that my dental development was slower than average, that I was about a year behind where I should have been, and he joked that I was “dentally retarded.” I was so upset that I cried about it in the car on the way home.

3) When I was 15, I went to an eye doctor, and he dilated my pupils without telling me first. Nobody had dilated my pupils before and I had no idea what was happening. When we got home, I spent the next several hours doing nothing but lying on the bed, shuddering every time I blinked, because I was so grossed out by the feeling. I’ve never let an eye doctor dilate my pupils since.

Technically, that last one wasn’t tooth-related, but it was just as bad.