It’s a Bird… No, It’s a Plane…
Today I am Zinc Man. I thought it would be a nice change to move myself 20 elements lower on the periodic table, you know, shed a few protons. (Did you know that the abbreviation for Tin is Sn? I’d forgotten.) Actually, the reason I’m doing it is because I’ve put myself on a regiment of Cold-eeze, with all its zinky goodness. I woke up yesterday morning with a dry and achy throat, the precursor to a cold, and it was a little worse when I woke up this morning. I’m feeling sorta crappy today. I’m tired and congested and I’m having great mucus-related enjoyment. Hence the Cold-eeze. The power of zinc to reduce the duration of a cold isn’t clear, although there is some evidence. There are dissenting views, of course. (Both links are located here.)
Anyway… Zinc Man needs a faithful sidekick. Anyone? Berkelium (97)? Americium (95)? Californium (98)? Europium (63)? Einsteinium (99)? Cadmium (48)? Well, I could go on and on and on, of course, and I’m sure you could come up with your own examples (there are at least 118 elements, after all), but the choice is obvious: Plutonium (94). Maybe along with a little tungsten. Hee hee.
Last night, before the “Friends” season finale came on, I was sitting on the couch, reading a novel. I came across a passage in which one character made another character some scrambled eggs, and suddenly I had a huge craving for a scrambled egg sandwich. I kept on reading, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Perhaps my under-the-weather body was craving cholesterol or something. I absolutely needed to have a scrambled-egg sandwich right then and there; I could not go on. So I ran out the door and bought a dozen eggs and a bottle of ketchup and came home just in time for “Friends.” I turned on the TV, cracked a couple of eggs into a bowl, threw in some salt and pepper, and mixed it all up. I melted a little butter in a heated pan and poured in the eggs, letting them solidify. It’s best not to move them around; that way you get a nice solid mass for a sandwich. I don’t have a toaster, so I put a couple of pieces of bread in the microwave for about 20 seconds, spread ketchup on both slices, put the eggs on one slice and put the other slice on top, cut the whole thing in half, and took it over to the couch with a glass of juice. I had myself a nice thick egg sandwich. It was pure heaven. And then I made myself another one.
After four slices of bread and four eggs (not to mention a bowl of soup I’d had earlier), I spent the evening in blissful catatonia, watching Chandler and Monica get married, followed by the revelation that Rachel is pregnant (I haven’t seen the show in a while. Who’d she sleep with?). After that was “Jack & Karen,” usually known by its official title, “Will & Grace.” Ehh… it was so-so. Then I watched five minutes of “E.R.” before turning it off — for some reason I lost interest in the show about three years ago.
Anyway, tonight’s probably going to be a stay-at-home evening. I’ll probably just read and write and eat and sleep. But we’ll see.