The Irony Toolbox!™
Usually I’m kind of careful about what I write here, because I don’t want to come across looking stupid or petty or resentful. But I really want to confess a deep, dark secret that nobody who has a blog is supposed to talk about. Here’s the confession: sometimes I worry about how popular I am.
Isn’t that stupid? It’s totally stupid. And yet unless you’re a Zen Buddhist monk, you worry about these things, because you’re human, and humans have emotions, and humans deal with self-esteem issues, except for maybe George W. Bush, because he doesn’t have a self-reflective bone in his body. But here at The Tin Man we don’t care about him, because we’re Democrats.
I’ve noticed that the number of people who read my blog has not increased significantly in the last couple of months. I know that I shouldn’t be concerned with popularity. I should be doing this blog for myself. That’s what art and writing and self-expression are all about, right? Doing it for yourself. And yet… see previous paragraph. We wants to be popular. We wants it, my Precious. Cruel hobbitses.
Why are some blogs much more popular than others? Why do some bloggers routinely get 20-25 comments appended to their entries, whereas some people get none? What do I have to do? Do I have to write short, snazzy entries? Do I have to sell mugs? Do I have to think up a witty ironic slogan?
I hate witty ironic slogans. I’m sorry, but I think Witty Ironic Slogans are a symbol of the laziness of our culture. It’s like you’re selling a product. It’s a sign that television and its attendant consumerism really have pervaded our lives. TV commercials have had Witty Ironic Slogans for a long time, but now even movies have them. Let’s say there’s a movie called “Ghost Passage.” When you see a commercial for “Ghost Passage,” they don’t just say “Ghost Passage.” No, when you see a commercial for “Ghost Passage,” words will flash up on the screen one by one: DON’T [flash] FORGET [flash] YOUR LIFEBOAT [flash]. Oooh! Scary! Is J Lo in it?
But does it have to happen to blogs, too? Is that the only way to be “creative” in our culture today? If it’s merely an attempt to be ironic, then, well, I’m sorry — the Witty Ironic Slogan isn’t ironic anymore. It’s faux-ironic. It’s surface irony without any ironic substance underneath. Irony is supposed to make a point about something in society, not just look cool. The Witty Ironic Slogan has passed into cliché. It’s like it’s 1986 and you’re still carrying around a Return of the Jedi lunchbox. The Witty Ironic Slogan so clearly says, “Look, I’m trying to be cool.” You may as well just use metatags: <attempt at coolness> </ attempt at coolness>. It’s just as blatantly obvious. If you’re trying to be cool by staying within the predetermined boundaries of coolness, then you’re not really being cool anymore. You’re playing at being original. It’s like David Foster Wallace and his incessant footnoting. It’s gotten stale. Witty-Ironic-Slogan-as-irony is so 1990s. Yes, we know we live in an advertisement-saturated culture. Point taken. Get on with it.
Your blog doesn’t need a slogan. It doesn’t need a signifier. It just needs to be.
Unadorned sincerity starts to seem refreshing. I don’t want to get all Jedediah Purdy here, but I guess I resent the fact that people who write short, snappy entries with links to computer-industry-related stories or things in the news, or people who set their sites up to look like postmodern ironic faux-advertisement things, seem to get more readers than people who write heartfelt, detailed entries about their personal lives. But on the other hand I guess that makes sense. This really isn’t a general-interest blog. I mean, who the fuck wants to read about an anxiety-ridden gay man in the New York metro area? I probably wouldn’t want to read about me. More people can relate to a short, snappy link-‘n’-commentary™ about something in the general interest. And it takes time to read long blog entries, whereas most people in our multitasking/attention-deficit-disorder culture can’t bear to spend more than 30 seconds reading something without finding something else to do.
Did you notice that trademark symbol I used in the previous paragraph? That was straight out of the Irony Toolbox. And capitalizing the initial letters of Witty Ironic Slogan is straight out of the Irony Toolbox also. And so is capitalizing the initial letters of Irony Toolbox. It’s happening to me, too! We can’t escape the Irony Toolbox. Even worse, we’ve forgotten what the tools are for.
I understand that people may not want to take the time to read my entries or just may not relate to them. Or maybe I’m just not entertaining enough for the masses. That could be.
Oh, well. I guess I’ll just keep on doing what I’m doing and not worry about what other people think. But if that’s the case, I might as well go back to putting my thoughts into spiral notebooks that I keep hidden away. Like that’s any fun.
OH NO – not the hidden spiral notebook! Love to read your thoughts, sans Witty Ironic Slogans. Don’t need’em. Just pure, personal thoughts and reflections. Your blog is always the first stop on my tour de blogs every morning. As for comments, well, I find it difficult to be both spontaneous and witty (but not Ironically Witty…) in English as it’s not my first language. I’ll make sure all my computers (and IP-no:s) hit your site though, to boost your SiteMeter-moral. There – feeling better now? :-)
/j
anxiety-ridden gay man in the New York metro area????? JOIN THE CLUB, MAN!! with all due respect to your self-esteem issues, number of comments, or number of hits tells you NOTHING about the impact of what you write – and beleive me, i think it is VERY BRAVE to have a comments thing – i wouldn’t do it in a million years! one, for fear of weird stalker like people (and i’ve left my share of weird comments, i’m sure); two, losing control over the content of my page, and 3) the worst fear come true – NO COMMENTS! I would curl up and die. so, if you need reassurance, you know where to find us loyal readers, who mull over stuff you write while riding a bike, or grocery shopping, affected by your shared-thoughts….
the only CRITICAL thing i might say about this particular RANT – you needn’t put down other folks’ efforts at finding their own way in the blogger world…
Thank you(!) for writing something that has been in the middle of my mind ever since I first created my own personal Web site. You have prompted questions that I have asked myself, and my best friend, time and time again. But usually ending with even more questions and not many answers. It seems that the majority of popular personal sites I visit have content that is trite, banal, and usually incestuous. But, there a few that I come across and realise that there are some good ones out there. One of them being yours. Another site that I love is Scott’s @ erasing.org. There is no counter, comments system, no clique links, no link whoring. Just paragraphs of personal writing. There are witty titles, but I attribute that to him being a witty person. It is people like you and Scott that I admire the most on the Web because I can open up a browser window each day and be refreshed and inspired by your writing. I wonder where all the other people like you, Scott, and me are. The ones that love writing long sincere posts, and love reading them.
BJ, I guess there’s nothing really awful about witty ironic slogans. It’s just a personal peeve of mine. And I meant this entry to be sort of tongue-in-cheek; partly this was an effort to flex my writing muscles in a way, and partly it was mental masturbation. I hope nobody took offense. People are totally free to do what they want on their blogs, of course!
I don’t know if my opinions count, since I’m not a man, not all that gay, I live on the Left Coast, and I’m not even all that anxiety-ridden, but … I love your blog. Aside from the blogs of a couple of close personal friends, yours is the only blog I visit daily (and then go and whine in my own blog if you haven’t updated!). Frankly, I don’t much care if you’re being deep and introspective, topical, short and ironic, or what-have-you. It doesn’t matter–because YOU CAN WRITE. I come here and I know that, whatever your topic du jour may be, you’ll make it interesting. Maybe the percentage of readers who appreciate GOOD WRITING isn’t as high as the percentage who want links to click on every two sentences. But, you know, quality over quantity and all that. I really hope you find a career path that allows you to pursue writing. Honestly, I think you’d be wasting your talents in legal practice.
but…but…if you don’t publish your journal entries on the web, there’s no way i can black mail you when you run for president!
what’s great about your site is that your thought process comes through as well as your thoughts, and your process is lucid and flows, and reflects a whole person and not something constructed with an agenda for status or to please the perceptions of others.
You must know that all writing, even private, secret diary writing, is done for an audience, whether real or an ‘internal’ one, and that writing=thinking. The question you should be asking is, who is your ‘internal’ audience object, not your ‘external’ one? I’m telling you, ask your therapist what she knows about Object Relations Theory. It’s good stuff…
“Oh, well. I guess I’ll just keep on doing what I’m doing and not worry about what other people think. ”
follow your own good advice. the beauty of blogs is that they can be anything you want them to be: irony-laden and full of links to the pop culture miasma that is the Web, or personal, thoughtful, diaristic reflections on one’s neuroses, anxieties, goals and pleasures. there’s room for both types of blogs in this world, y’know …
hey MATT – he’ll be “running” for SUPREME COURT JUSTICE, not president; who wants a lame-ass 4 or 8-year job, when you can wear a black dress for life! Seriously, my pet peeve is amazon wish-lists, and yes, I did hope your rant/blog was half jest, half getting it out of your system. Meanwhile, all of us still using BLOGGER can’t post right now, so we have to come to your comments and do our own bit of masturbation….oh wait, was I supposed to just be mentally masturbating???
I believe that we in the United States at least have much shorter attention spans. I belong to Generation Y or Generation Next or whatever they want to call me now. I know that I cannot just sit and read something very long unless I have three other converstaions or pages to visit. However, I do enjoy reading your blog. It’s all a matter of personal taste–whether or not a person likes news and links or personal thoughts open to a world of criticism, negitive and positive. So I applaud all Bloggers who can bare their souls to a stranger and maintain a sense of purity from copious linkage.
I’ve often asked the same questions…perhaps out of jealousy, perhaps out of genuine curiosity about why some blogs are “A-list” blogs and others aren’t. It is just like high school, with the ‘beautiful, cool people’ and then the rejects, and my blog would definitely be in the latter class.
But you! Look at you, with all of your comments and wide readership. Look at all the people who link to you, at the fact that you have a loyal, steady following of people that read about your life on a daily basis. How can you think that you’re not popular? Do a search and see your site pop up all over the place or something. There’s probably a million weblogs, journals, etc. out there now, and you have an incredibly higher readership than 99.9% of them. You’re practically an icon! Don’t you think wanting more than you already have is just a little too much?
Hee. “we wants it, we wants it, my preciousssss”. Gotta love “the Hobbit” reference.
I know exactly what you mean. When I first started my blog, I worried a lot about that, too. Will people “like me?” Will they read? Will they comment? Perhaps more importantly “will other Blog-Folk link to my blog?” When you start worrying about that shit, your voice becomes distorted.
I love your blog just as it is. And yes, maybe you are an “anxiety-ridden gay man in the New York metro area”, SO WHAT. You also have an incredible ability to write -well- about your demons, your joys, everything.
Don’t change a thing, darlin’.
well, i’m now SUFFICIENTLY JEALOUS! all these cool folks (yup, clicked all the links!) commenting in here – so stick with QUALITY, man, it apparently is working. Meanwhile, I freaked myself out the other night when i thought someone had de-linked me. I have yet to do permanent links (i can’t figure out how to change the template…and more)This cool guy had me on his blogger links list, then 2 days ago, I was gone! 2 hours later, all sullen, and dispirited, I went back, and saw he was just rearagning pages, and the list, with me, was back. Made me realize how silly i was to worry….
Eh, if you’re not running a popular weblog, that’s probably because you’re not running a weblog at all– you’re running a journal. There’s actually a pretty fundamental difference in the purpose of the writing.
I’ve written both, at one time or another. With the journal, I went out of the way to describe my day and my feelings about it. With the weblog, I make a point of avoiding anything too explicit about my life or emotions. It’s more about my interests than about my life.
And while long, sequenced entries are best suited to a journal format, to me a good weblog entry is concise and self-contained. It’s the difference between a soap opera and a set of music videos on MTV.
I read yours each day… but do you read mine?
Site counters are a blessing and a curse: you wonder if anyone is reading and once you find out who and how many, it’s still not enough. What I try to remember is that my journal is supposed to be for me. The entertainment value should be second. (Notice I said “should”–it’s not always that way!)
The best thing about reading others journals is that what might be positively mundane to the writer is so absolutely fascinating to the reader.
It’s what keeps me going back to so many journals and blogs each day…
~Dan
Why do I read your blog? For a few reasons:
(*) I am envious at your ability to put english words in a row in such a way that it is nice to read.
(*) You have got a very good mechanism to keep out the uninteresting bits, or just write interesting about something uninteresting. In short: you are writers stuff.
About short ironical entries: current screens are unsuited to read from. Short = easy to the eye. That’s all.