Five-Minute Blog

I’m about to head off to central New Jersey for another overnight stay with a dear friend of mine. We’ll probably hit New Hope tonight or something.

You know how they say that when you start taking Prozac, the anxiety goes away but your life becomes more boring? I’m not on Prozac, but I’ve been feeling less anxious, and consequently my entries have seemed less angst-ridden and more boring, I’m sure. Sorry about that. I guess I’m sort of feeling like an inadequate blogger lately. The green monster lives under my bed, seems to visit me all the time, and when I read someone who’s really, really good, it makes me feel inadequate. As if there’s only a limited amount of talent or recognition to go around. Of course, by making these feelings public, I’m not doing myself any favors. I may be doing you some favors… but not myself.

I bought new glasses this afternoon. They’re the same brand as my old ones, and pretty similar. Unfortunately, the old ones are no longer being made. When I left LensCrafters, the woman said, “Don’t flush these.” Thanks.

This morning I had brunch with someone who reads my blog regularly. He lives right here in Jersey City, and he’s a lawyer. He’s lived here for many years, and has much more life experience than me. We got together in order to go over my resume and figure out what to change and where to send it to. Unfortunately, we snarky twentysomethings think we own the world, so when someone comes along and tells us we’re doing things wrong, that’s hard to swallow. That’s especially true when you’re a high achiever like me — someone who grew up thinking he was perfect doesn’t really like to hear that he’s naive and is insulating himself and that his writing needs editing and that so-and-so’s blog is better. Oh well. I’m one of those stubborn types. When someone who’s of a different generation than me gives me advice, even if it’s terrific advice, which it was, I always interpret it as… patronizing? I don’t know. It makes me feel like a little kid, like an incapable little kid.

And to be honest, I was acting really shy, and when it got to working on my resume, I was being pretty passive-aggressive and tense and so forth. Doing job-search-related activities is one of the things I hate more than almost anything else.

Well, this inadequate blogger is going off to central New Jersey. Bye.
—–