A year ago this week, I gave up blogging.

I ended the blog on Valentine’s Day. Kind of appropriate, given the heart motif. I wasn’t trying to be ironic — it just turned out that way.

At various times over the last few months I’ve considered coming back. I don’t know why. There are so many reasons not to.

First, it takes such a long time to write entries.

Second, blogging — at least, the way I did it — used up lots of emotional energy. I was never able to avoid giving this thing access to every inch of my psyche. For me, that was the point of having it. Also, people like to read that kind of thing, and I wanted the readership.

Third, I’m a perfectionist. (Unfortunately, perfectionism is a flaw, so no human being can ever be a successful perfectionist. Nothing can ever be flawless. But I digress. Oops!) Anyway, because I’m a perfectionist, I’m afraid that my writing will be inadequate. I’m afraid of subjecting it to scrutiny again.

Fourth, I have a theory that blogging (at least the way I did it) is inimical to finding a serious relationship. It’s been known to happen, sure, but — well, think about it. If you write openly about your life (as I did), you’ll probably write about the dates you go on. If you wind up becoming serious with someone, you’ll either have to continue to hide the blog from that person — making honesty in the relationship impossible — or you’ll have to confess to him that for weeks or months, you’ve been using your dates as entertainment for a whole bunch of people. And what if early on, you described your misgivings about the guy? That could make for some tense moments.

Fifth, I’ve been working on a more substantial writing project, and I’m afraid that if I start this site up again, it will siphon off some of that energy.

Sixth, there’s always the risk that someone I know will stumble across the site. That can be bad.

Seventh, life in the fishbowl can be really annoying.

I thought about coming back last August, but I was drunk at the time. I was thisclose to coming back in November — I even redesigned the site — but I still didn’t come back.

I’d been thinking about this for a while, and I finally decided it’s time. Actually, decided isn’t really the appropriate word. My gut is telling me this. It just feels right.

It felt so damn refreshing to quit. It felt terrific, it really did. I felt so free, so unencumbered. Blogging is fraught with all the stuff I’ve just mentioned.

Given all of that, why the heck am I trying it again? I don’t know. But something inside me must want to.

So I’m coming back — on a tentative basis.

I’ll see how it goes. I’ll see what works for me. I might write about personal stuff, or I might not. I might write every day, or once a week, or never again after today. I really don’t know.

But at any rate —

for now, at least —

I’m back.