It’s not easy being short.
Last night, after a very nice time with someone at a Tori Amos concert at Radio City Music Hall, I met up with a tall acquaintance of mine at a club in the East Village. When my acquaintance told me the name of the club over the phone, it sounded like “Overline.” When I was looking for the place and trying to remember the name of it, all I could come up with was “Ovaltine.” It turns out it’s called Opaline.
My friend is maybe 6’2″ and very outgoing. He’s always getting guys’ phone numbers and going on dates. It’s pretty amazing to see him work it; I got to witness it three times last night.
I don’t like crowded clubs. I’m very shy in those situations, and my self-esteem always drops at least five notches. Also, I never think I’m going to meet anyone. Sure, there are tons of cute guys all over the club, but how am I supposed to find out which cute guy is compatible with me, if any?
And being short makes it worse. I stand there in a field of tall trees. People don’t even notice me as they push past me with their beer bottles. All 125 pounds of me gets knocked out of the way. I may as well be invisible.
Tall people seem to have it so much easier. They seem to have more power. More attractiveness. I watch my tall friend talk with another tall guy, and I just look up at both of them, these skyscrapers, and feel useless and impotent. I feel like the world was made for them and they just ease along a frictionless path.
I’m not saying that short guys aren’t found attractive. Sure we are. And I don’t have a height preference myself. I like guys of almost any height.
What I’m talking about is something other than sexual attraction. What I’m talking about is power. Or rather, the appearance of power.
It’s not like I can do anything about being 5’6″, though, so it’s best just to deal with it and move on.
The club scene is tough and most certainly NOT the place to go when your self-esteem needs boosting. I guess it’s just natural that in such a setting, the tall people are going to stand out more. I can understand getting depressed about it sometimes–heck, I get depressed about certain physical aspects of myself that I’d like to change–but it’s wasted energy. You are who you are, period. Many tall people wish they were shorter, and once again, that’s wasted energy. I’ve found myself attracted to guys of all types: short, tall, thin, stocky, smooth, hairy, etc.
Off the subject, I just want to compliment you on your grammar. You are an EXCELLENT speller and use great punctuation. (Can you tell I’m an editor??? :-))
If you really want to be tall, try going to a club on a foot or two of stilts. Everyone will stare, move out of your way and you will be able to look down at/on people. You might feel a teensy stupid, sure, but you’ll finally know what it’s like to be tall at a club!
Hear, hear! There is something palpably different about being short in social situations. I’ve instituted a rule in my life: I will not befriend anyone over 5′ 11″. It’s not a hard and fast rule, but it’s something I jokingly tell people sometimes. The height thing definitely makes a difference in who you end up talking to, how you relate to someone, and what you all can do together. Maybe people from the Land of Tall Folk also feel discomfort talking to shorter people while standing so they avoid the situation as much as possible.
I’m 6′ 2″ and usually a little self-conscious about it. It would be so much easier if I were 5′ 10″ so I’d “fit in” with the norm. I think that some guys won’t talk to somebody as tall as me.
If anything, I feel less empowered as a tall guy. It feels like I stand out too much or something.
Also, a number of the guys I’ve dated were several inches shorter than me. There’s something kind of uniquely attractive (re: hot) about “little dudes”, as a female friend of mine puts it.
A while ago I was reading about some studies that were conducted on the relationship between height and self esteem. According to all these studies, tall men were shown to have higher self esteem than shorter men. In the end, it turned out that the studies were actually wrong. What was really going on was that people who were tall when they were in their teens had higher self esteem than people who were shorter in their teens. It was just that people who are tall when they’re in their teens are more likely to be tall when they’re adults.
Somewhat tangential, but I thought it was interesting that research had shown a link between height and self esteem.