Last night I got stood up for a dinner date. I wasn’t surprised. To be honest, I was glad.

Back in August, I had lunch with this guy I’d met in a chat room. He was relatively handsome, and masculine, and Jewish — all pluses. On the other hand, he kept taking work-related calls on his cell phone, and we had nothing in common. At first I wondered if maybe we’d have some postprandial passion, but he mentioned several times that he didn’t like casual sex and he implied that there was something wrong with people who did, so I stifled those hopes. After lunch, he drove me back to my apartment, and before I got out of his car, he said it would be really great to get together again.

We never got together again.

I left him a message about a week after our date, just for the heck of it, but he never called back.

The next time I saw him online was about two months later. He initiated a chat with me. He apologized for not getting together again and said that he’d been really busy with moving and with transitioning into his new job and that he really wanted to get together again. (I hate it when an excuse is simultaneously doubtful but totally plausible and irrefutable.) He told me he’d call.

He never called.

The next time I saw him online was Saturday afternoon.

He said hi to me. At first I didn’t even know who he was. Then he told me, and I remembered. He asked how I’d been, and he apologized and said he really wanted to get together again. I expressed doubt, given what had happened before. So he said this time we should set a definite date. We chose Wednesday night. He said we should talk again Tuesday to confirm our plans. I suggested we talk right then. So I called him, and we decided he’d come by my apartment on Wednesday night and I’d choose a restaurant. Once again, he suggested that we confirm on Tuesday.

After the short phone call, I went back online, and he told me that he had a secret: he’d thought I was really, really cute and had wanted to give me a goodbye kiss after our date, but he hadn’t thought I was interested. He’d even hoped I would invite him up to my apartment.

I responded that I hadn’t thought he wasn’t into that sort of thing. He said he usually isn’t, that he’d only hooked up once after a first date, but that he’d hoped I would be the second one. He said maybe our second date could end differently than our first. He said he was really looking forward to Wednesday and wished Wednesday were tomorrow.

After we finished chatting, I thought about it, and I realized I wasn’t all that interested in seeing him again. Nevertheless, I called him on Tuesday to confirm our plans. I left him a message during the day.

He didn’t call back on Tuesday.

I wasn’t surprised.

While I figured he still could call on Wednesday, I actually hoped he wouldn’t, because my alternative plans were seeming more and more appealing: staying in, watching “Angel.”

He didn’t call yesterday, and he never showed up. Of course not.

And I had a perfectly enjoyable date with a take-out sandwich and the WB.

Tomorrow I’m heading down to Virginia for a long weekend, because my old college a cappella group, the University of Virginia Academical Village People, is celebrating its 10th anniversary with a couple of concerts. It’ll be a blast.

While I’m gone, I present a special guest blogger: nobody.

See you on Monday!