I have an earache today. It’s in my left ear. My left sinus has felt a little clogged lately, so I bet I have a sinus infection or something. I seem to be prone to sinus infections.

I wonder if my doctor will ever get tired of seeing me. At least four times in the past year, I’ve thought I’ve had an STD, and when I’ve gone to see the doctor, he’s told me I haven’t. I’ve had chronic springtime allergies for several years, along with the sinus infections. I’ve had stomach issues my whole life. Last spring I was having some sort of gum issue, which happened toward the end of a weeklong case of the flu; part of my gum seemed to be separating from the tooth, and it turned out that because I hadn’t seen a dentist in about two and a half years, I needed to get a thorough gum cleaning, which involved three dentist visits, each involving a shot of novocaine, to get out the bacteria that had lodged itself in the pockets of my gums. Recently I had a hemorrhoid. My neck is very sensitive to razor burn. Three years ago I had to get a colonoscopy. Almost two years ago, some chapped skin on my upper lip healed improperly, and it had to be burned off and I had to get stitches. Lately I’ve had a dry skin issue on my left shin. One time I thought I had crabs, but I was wrong.

I want to be a cyborg.