Thank you all for your thoughts and comments. It means a lot to me. What I love about blogging is how it brings people together in unexpected ways. I feel more upbeat today, and things will somehow work out.

Fortunately, I had therapy last night, and it was very helpful. About halfway through the session I lay down on the couch. I usually sit on one end of the couch, facing my therapist, who sits in a chair, but I was just so wiped out that I said, “Do people ever lie down on the couch?” She said yes, so I lay myself down. I hadn’t lain on a couch in therapy in nearly five years. It gives therapy a slightly different feel; it makes it less about the interaction between you and the therapist, and more about you. (And of course, it’s all about me.) I found myself able to concentrate a little better on everything.

We talked about the decision-making process. One reason I have trouble making decisions is that my thoughts tend to bubble over and bump into each other like billiard balls, all disorganized and scattershot. I realized that the first step in making any decision is to clarify for myself what I want. There needs to be a beacon. That beacon has to be me. You can’t make a decision when you’re trying to please three or four different constituencies inside your head. It’s a subconscious process, trying to please those phantoms, and I have to become more adept at recognizing when I’m doing it. And knowing is half the battle. Yo, Joe!

I know, that’s totally primary school, but sometimes we forget the basic lessons — or sometimes we never learned them in the first place.

Anyway, enough wallowing. I want to write about less personal things tomorrow.

And again, thanks!