Disclosure

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about blogs and openness and self-disclosure, and whether it’s good or bad. Things have been percolating inside my head.

I finally saw Pottymouth on Friday night, and Andy was brilliant.

I remember talking with Andy once about his show. I remember he told me that my blog entries kind of reminded him of the things he talked about on stage. This was back when I used to write more openly here about romance and sex.

I thought about his comparison again while watching Pottymouth on Friday night. I thought about how brave Andy must be to stand onstage in front of a crowd of people, describing his sex life in detail, making fun of himself, and so forth. I think he has a day job, too; what if his co-workers saw his show? What would they think?

Or what about potential romantic interests? What effect could such public openness — and not just as to romance and sex, but also as to thoughts and emotions — have on those people?

I wrote this in an old blog entry:

Why am I writing about all of this here? Could this possibly make anyone think any better of me? I’ve realized that one of my goals in keeping a blog has been to make connections with other people, and I’ve met some great folks… But…

Is it possible to know too much about a person? Subconsciously, I think I’ve hoped that my blog would bring a love interest into my life. Just be honest and truthful about myself and people will be all touched and moved and impressed by my honesty and self-awareness, won’t they. But how could someone love me after seeing all my mangled up, chaotic insides? Is detailing all my neuroses just a stupid, stupid idea? I mean, what the hell am I thinking?

Can blogs lead to romance? I still don’t know. I do think that blogs can fuck up the process of getting to know someone, or even of just communicating with someone. This is so funny because it’s true. When I stopped blogging last year, someone said to me, “How am I going to know what’s going on in your life from now on?” And I responded, “I guess you’ll actually have to ask.”

A blog lets you spy on someone’s life, even that of someone you know, without actually interacting with that someone. It works the other way, too; it lets you speak to a person without actually speaking TO the person.

A blog can bring people into your world, but maybe only so much.

And openly discussing your life can take away the fun of sharing. If everyone is special enough to know about the mysterious details of your life, then nobody is special enough. And someone’s got to be. I think.

These are all reasons why I haven’t been blogging as openly as I used to. It’s hard, because I’m a compulsive self-expresser; I process things through writing about them and talking about them. Also, it’s fun and cathartic.

I’d love to write more openly here. Sometimes I really really want to.

But I’m not so certain anymore that such openness can bring all the amazing benefits I used to think or wish it could.

3 thoughts on “Disclosure

  1. I related to the “how am I going to know what’s going on with you?” comment. I sometimes find that “long-lost” friends have been reading my blog for the past year or two, yet at no point during that time did they ever feel the need to send me an email or contact me in any way. They just sorta kept their distance and spied. I find it bizarre and selfish… but I guess that’s one of the drawbacks of blogging: some people are in the “no recip” category.

  2. You have some interesting points here, man. I tend to stay away from personal stuff about my friends or family, and the “love-life” stuff is actually limited to the more amusing (or sometimes sad) aspects of seeking sex and/or boyfriends. And on the few occasions that a blog-reader takes a personal interest, like “let’s meet and do it” – I rarely accept. Flattered, of course, but this stranger not only has a skewed image of me ( those parts I choose to write about, and the manner I chose to express) but is also at a great advantage – knowing a bunch about me, without me knowing ANYTHING about him – that’s too much for me to handle. but yes, I’ve gotten together with friends who already read stuff I’d done that week, and then there was little to talk about, the “sharing” was gone, as you say. ……. now, back to ANDY – do you really think he LIKES all that stuff in his show he says, and DOESN’T LIKE the stuff his character says he doesn’t??? hehe!

  3. I am just starting out on this blogging road and this particular blog of yours stands out to me as something that was in the back of my mind yet I wasn’t quite able to articulate it to myself. Lot of food for thought. Nice blog, BTW.

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