I so want to do this.

Um, I think.

I wasn’t really thrilled with the first two installments. They were technically brilliant pieces of filmmaking, yes, but I’ve never gotten over the changes. I’ve read the books a few times. Faramir’s not supposed to be evil. And “The Two Towers” is supposed to end in a cliffhanger, with disgusting Shelob. And Frodo and Sam aren’t supposed to rush out of Hobbiton when Gandalf tells them to; they plan to leave in summer, but Gandalf is nowhere to be seen, so instead they have to leave in the fall, when the world gets darker and creepier, which is not what they’d hoped for. I’d always liked that idea of their plans gone wrong. Instead, Peter Jackson just has them rush out into the world, as if audiences wouldn’t have the patience for anything else… and yet he inserts 15 minutes of snoozeville smack into the middle of “The Two Towers,” with flashbacks to Arwen and Aragorn and Elrond and Galadriel. (Galadriel?) I don’t get it.

Okay. I still think seeing all three movies in a row would be an amazing experience. I’m just not sure I could handle it.

And my butt would hurt.