So now I’m thinking I might not move. I might just renew my lease for another year.
I have this idea that life would be better if I lived in Manhattan or Brooklyn or something. Meanwhile, right now I have a great apartment, not much noise, lots of space, my own washer and dryer, rent’s not too bad for the great place I have, I’m closer to most parts of Manhattan I like to visit than I’d be if I lived on the Upper East Side, which seems to be the only neighborhood I can afford without a roommate, according to Craigslist. (I live here, give or take a few blocks.) My commute to work’s not too bad.
But it would be one more year of the goddamn PATH train, and I know once the weather turned warm again I’d regret having renewed my lease.
I just wish I were making enough money to live in Manhattan in a decent enough place.
Maybe in joining this chorus, my social life will improve. Maybe it wouldn’t automatically improve if I moved to Manhattan. Maybe I can somehow (how? I have no idea) meet people in Jersey City.
Maybe after living there three years I can stick it out one more year, and then next fall when my commitment to my job is up, I can get something that pays more, and I can move.
Ugh. I have no idea what I’m going to do. My landlord left a phone message a few days ago and asked if I’m planning to renew.
What do you do when both choices are kinda sucky?
“Change is Good”
Too much,is not so good.
It sounds like you have had plenty enough turmoil lately and have made some great choices The Chorus,Giving up the chat rooms,Spending more time writing, and Rethinking your personel relationships.Even a nostalgic visit to your parents home and your contemplation on Mans essential aloneness has a Proustian beauty to it.I expect you have already decided to stay where you are and this arm chair critic suggests;Whats the point of having a fab flat in a great location if you can’t afford to go out.And besides look at your own map your just across the bridge really.When you start at the chorus you will make some great new friends.And believe me fellow friends in the performing arts are better then your close’ family members.They will become friends for life through thick and thin. And if your very lucky a special someone for you too.So hold tight give it another year as you yourself suggest and see what unfolds….Bill
*sigh*
Jeff, shit or get off the pot. I love you dearly, but I’ve been listening to you talk about how much you want to move to the city all the time I’ve known you, and it gets old. You’re finally near the point where it’s an option, and now you’re going to pull back?
Pull back because it’s what you really want, not because you’re squeamish about what you’re going to get for this change. Here’s a thought: consider getting a roommate, like just about everyone who lives in New York has. Optimal? No. But it’s a start. You’ll expand your possibilities immeasurably that way, as well as meeting some more people.
In short: if you stay where you are, as far as I’m concerned, you waive your right to complain, ever, for the next year. Complaining is the privilege of people who have had little control over their circumstances. Enough’s enough. Do it!
Not to rib you, Mike, but: hmm. :)
Nobody’s waiting to use the pot, so I can sit here as long as I want to.
If you want to move into some cramped Manhattan apartment with someone you don’t even know, and give up your privacy and freedom and quietude for a tense living situation with a stranger, be my guest. Or if you want to have your own small place but commute from the desolate Upper East Side to Newark every day. Or if you want to commute from a not-even-prime location in Brooklyn to Newark every day. All while not having any more money than I have right now. Gee, that sounds fun.
Or, I can stay in my spacious, nice, quiet apartment for another year, which will probably go by quickly, while I wait until my contract on my 45K-a-year job runs out.
Is any of these situations ideal? No. But given my current circumstances, they’re the choices I’ve got.
That might have come off as a little too harsh. But seriously…stagnation is worse than any bad choice you’re likely to make, because stagnation discourages you from making future risky choices that might pay off.
Based on past experience, I don’t think you’re any likelier to leave your apartment — where you clearly aren’t happy — once your contract’s up than you are now that your lease is up. One excuse is as good as another, and you’re never going to be able to fully erase your doubts, so you don’t end up doing anything.
C’mon. This isn’t your rational side speaking up, it’s your frightened side. The rational decision is to assert control over your own life and try something different. Whatever you do isn’t going to have tremendous and irrevocable consequences, even if you end up with a long commute or an unhappy roommate situation. So what? You’ll be no worse off in the long run because you can just move again later.
Please reconsider. Please read your August 5th entry again. You quote a great song from “Tick, Tick, Boom” there. Here’s a few stanzas from Sondheim’s “Sunday in the Park with George”:
Stop worrying where you’re going,
Move on.
If you can know where you’re going,
You’ve gone.
Just keep moving on.
I chose, and my world was shaken,
So what?
The choice may have been mistaken,
The choosing was not.
You have to move on.
Look at what you want.
Not at where you are.
Concentrate on now.
Move on.
From what you’ve said numerous times, you WANT to move. To Manhattan. Staying where you are seems like a reluctant choice of convenience rather than a decision based on doing what you want. You know, I don’t. It does seem though you’re just visiting Jersey and you belong in the city where you were born. To live.