Boy Meets Boy

I don’t watch much TV, but last night was one of those nights when I just felt like curling up on the couch with a blanket and letting things wash over me. So for two or three hours I kept flipping back and forth between one of Woody Allen’s best films, “Annie Hall,” on Turner Classic Movies, and a “Boy Meets Boy” marathon on Bravo. Bravo was running the final three episodes consecutively. It was a wonderful evening.

I’m generally opposed on principle to watching so-called reality TV. But despite all the filler, despite the artifice of people pretending they’re having private conversations when there’s obviously a camera crew in the room, and despite the too-long commercial breaks, I totally got sucked into “Boy Meets Boy.” I have some random thoughts on it.

First, of the three finalists, I’m so glad James picked Wes. What a total cutie, and he was so obviously not the straight guy. (One of the three finalists was straight, but we and James didn’t know which one until the end.) My gaydar told me that Franklin was straight. Brian would have been too easy. As for Wes, he just seemed genuinely gay.

Second, what the hell was up with James’s best friend Andra? What a nutball. Girl needs to relax. It’s only a TV show. It’s not like these are the only 15 men in the world for James to choose from. It’s not like James must marry one of these men (even if he legally could). Anyway, if I were one of the contestants, and James and Andra were a package deal, I’d find myself a different boyfriend. The last thing a guy needs is a boyfriend with an overprotective fag hag. Her drama was even spreading to James himself. “If I picked the straight one, I think my world would come crashing down.” No, you’d lose the game and then you’d go back to L.A. and have thousands of gorgeous intelligent men climbing all over each other to date you. Relax.

Third, this Southern California body fascism is so annoying. I mean yeah, many of them are gorgeous. But kind of plastic. And of course hairless. And what the hell, do they work on farms all day long? They just naturally have these amazingly sculpted bodies? That’s my biggest problem with reality TV shows — all the unrealistically, boringly plastic California porn-esque men.

I’d take Wes, though.

As for “Annie Hall” — so many memorable quotes.

Love is too weak a word for what I feel — I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F’s, yes I have to invent, of course I — I do, don’t you think I do?

Woody Allen wit and California plastic. That pretty much covers the gamut of men, doesn’t it?

7 thoughts on “Boy Meets Boy

  1. SOUTHERN California, if you please. And even then, it wouldn’t surprise if more than a few of the majority of unplastic, unsmooth, unbuff gay guys who live south of the Tehachapis might resent the stereotype. (I know I would have when I lived in Santa Barbara.) We’ve certainly gotten slapped around for thinking New Jersey is all Tony Soprano and Superfund cleanup sites.

    Whew, I didn’t mean for that to sound as defensive at it reads.

  2. about figuring out who was straight or gay…..did you notice that the guys were always presented in specific groups? i think what they were doing was insuring that a straight guy got to the final three. by pitting two straight boys against eachother, you can guarantee that a straight guy moves on in the game. so, if viewers were paying attention, they got a clue; the guy franklin was going up against turned out to be straight…so franklin…straight! or so she says. you get to pick…which straight guy moves on….

  3. I too was glad that he picked Wes! They were cute together. Now I wonder what happened on the vacation! Andra was a bit dramatic – I agree, I’d hope they weren’t a package deal or that she was edited to be a bit more crazy than she is in real life.

    Wouldn’t it have been terrible if James had picked Franklin?

  4. I doubt James will have men who are both gorgeous AND intelligent climbing all over each other to date him. His seeming absense of either imagination (did you hear his pathetic attempts to ferret out the straight guy?) or a sense of humor about the entire “twist” makes him appealing in only one format: the glossy full-color page of a magazine.

    Physical beauty alone and nothing else–meh. It may be what I look for (sometimes) in a porno fantasy, but I’d get emotional scurvy if that’s all I had in real life.

  5. According to the Yahoo group set up by one of the “cast” members (and where several other “cast” members of the show post comments), the vacation isn’t scheduled until next year. Also, Wes and James aren’t dating. They’re supposedly friends, but Wes has started seeing someone else. Dunno about James.

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