Things That Went Through My Brain This Morning While Trying to Fall Back Asleep After Accidentally Waking Up at 5:30 AM

Maybe I should use the Amazon.com gift certificate my aunt gave me to buy Seasons 1-6 of “Friends” on DVD.

How many female U.S. senators are there right now? Let’s see: Patty Murray and Maria Cantwell (Washington), Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein (California), Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe (Maine), Hillary Clinton, Barbara Mikulski, Elizabeth Dole, Mary Landrieu, Kay Bailey Hutchison, Blanche Lincoln, Debbie Stabenow. There’s 13. (Turns out I missed Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, so there are actually 14, up from 2 in 1992.)

I wonder how many current U.S. senators I can name altogether? I’ll keep track of them using fingermath. I wonder if anyone else knows fingermath? I wonder if fingermath is on the web. (I got up to 48 senators, then 51 or 52.)

Remember last year when Strom Thurmond died on the day Lawrence v. Texas was announced? That was so weird. Wow, he lived to be 100. My grandfather only lived to be 94. My grandma will be 91 in July if she can make it. She’s not doing so great. Old people always seem to deteriorate after their spouses die.

It’s too bad about San Francisco. The nation seems to be moving toward this compromise where every state will decide for itself. And civil unions seem to be the compromise point. Would civil unions be that bad? Eh, maybe not incredibly bad, as long as a state gives civil unions the exact same rights as marriages. With DOMA in the mix, gay marriages wouldn’t be able to get federal recognition anyway. And will the Supreme Court even want to deal with DOMA right now? With sodomy, there were only like 11 states that still had sodomy laws. But there are at least 38 states with laws or constitutions against gay marriage. The Supremes aren’t going to want to step into that mess. They need four votes to hear a case. Only three justices dissented in Lawrence. I wonder who the fourth would be.

It’s going to be sad when “Friends” ends. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years. Oh, and “Frasier” is ending, but nobody watches that anymore. I can’t believe Kelsey Grammer has been playing the same character since 1984. Remember in middle school one morning when my math teacher Mrs. Smith asked us what had happened on the season premiere of “Cheers” the night before? “She said yes,” we all said. “Who???” Mrs. Smith said. (Sam Malone had asked someone to marry him, but nobody had known whether he had asked Diane or this other woman.) Remember when TV used to have really good season finales with multiple cliffhangers? Remember on “Dallas” when Pam woke up and Bobby was in the shower, and meanwhile this other woman walked into this office in a building and it exploded? But then it turned out she really hadn’t because the whole previous season had been a dream? That sucked.

Wow, “The Simpsons” has been on forever. It started a few years before the Clinton administration began, and the Clinton administration ended a few years ago but “The Simpsons” is still on. Wow.

I wonder how long “NYPD Blue” has been on? I don’t watch it, so I don’t know. I should get up and check TV Tome. No, then I’ll never get to sleep.

It’s so light outside now. I wish it were darker so I wouldn’t have to cover my head with the blanket. That’s what mornings are like this time of year, when the days are getting longer but we haven’t hit Daylight Savings yet. It gets light too early. Three weeks until Daylight Savings! Yay! Wait, will we get an extra hour that Saturday night or will we get one fewer hour? Fall back, spring ahead… we’ll have one fewer hour. Darn.

Why do long-running TV series always get associated with the decade they started in rather than the decade they ended in? “Three’s Company” ended in 1983, “One Day at a Time” and “Happy Days” ended in 1984, and “The Jeffersons” ended in 1985, but they’re all associated with the ’70s. (Turns out “Three’s Company” actually ended in 1984.)

It’ll be time to get up in half an hour. Should I keep trying to fall asleep? Would it hurt or help at this point? Don’t I feel worse when I fall back asleep and then wake up a short time later? Maybe I’ll just lie here.

Why do I have so little money in my bank account right now despite having gotten a raise a few months ago?

Oh, I may as well get up now, just so I don’t have to listen to my alarm. Arrrgh.

<yawn>