“Well, you can fuck yourself,” he scowled from across the table.
“Listen, I don’t mean to leave you in the lurch, Michael,” I said. “But I just don’t see where I can go from here.”
“No, I mean fuck yourself for science.”
“How do you propose I do that?”
“Mold your dick, then have someone strap it on.” Obviously. “It would be a great finale to the column.”