Before I knew anything about politics, deficits, taxes, Congress, or AIDS, I knew that Ronald Reagan was my president. He took office when I was in first grade, and by the time he left office I was in high school in Tokyo, Japan. That was a huge chunk of my life. Until I was 15 years old, he was the only president I’d ever known. He loomed large over America, like a king.
My first memory of him is from the fall of 1980. I was looking at the Weekly Reader in my first-grade classroom. On the cover was a story about the 1980 campaign, with photos of Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, and John Anderson in little ovals.
Reagan won, and the only thing I knew about him for the next few years was that he liked jelly beans.
Later, when I was in fifth grade, he was running for re-election. My class ran a mock election, with one student speaking as Reagan and another student speaking as Mondale.
Everyone in the class voted for Reagan except me. After listening to both kids’ speeches, I just decided I liked Mondale’s speech better.
I first started watching “Saturday Night Live” during the Iran-Contra affair. I was in middle school. I remember the famous sketch with Randy Quaid as Reagan, pretending to be stupid in front of the reporters in the Oval Office, and then barking out orders to his staff members as the mastermind of the cover-up after the press left.
The quintessential 1980s moment for me is Nancy Reagan appearing on “Diff’rent Strokes,” telling Arnold to “just say no” to drugs.
Reagan’s death is going to be the biggest news story over the next few days. There’ll be lots of familiar faces on TV, and for those of us in our mid-20s to mid-30s, there’ll be lots of childhood nostalgia.
Now that I’m an adult, my opinion of Reagan is more complicated than it was when I was a kid. Thousands of Americans died of AIDS because of him, and his economic policies shot the deficit through the roof and left a mess for his successors to clean up. For the last 10 years, I knew that he’d someday die, and as a newspaper geek, I always wondered what his New York Times obituary would look like. It’s strange that it’s finally happened.
Another piece of my childhood has gone away.
From all of the people who were infected with HIV under your watch,
we will never forget you.
coward
racist
homophobe
criminal
YOUR suffering ended years ago- the damage you’ve inflicted on others lives on.
Thousands of people were infected with HIV because of Reagan ????
(This is so typical, disneyland citizens symplifying.)
Nope. Look at the numbers.
Remember the times, beyond Dukes of Hazard and your Mork from Ork weekly ritual life inbetween wanks.
It was our *collective* cultural attitudes — and fears.
Those uptight, clenched-lipped, heart-beat-racing, ulcer inducing, can you grind your teeth anymore in anger right now?, izod wearing Americans trying (but not quite) discussing sex, lust, passion and their taught shame. Reagan was the penultimate 1980’s American, all you consumerist guppies; don’t forget who voted for him (and, more importantly, the Congress of that legislative era, please, cause it matters).
That electorate, and certainly no one man, caused the ignorance and fear of HIV to persist, and thus infections spread. Our parents (who welcomed each of you gay men into their lives with glee) killed all those people.
And, yes, Reagan was amongst them, but by no means standing alone.
Reality matters, despite your emotions.
.rob adams
How many of your parents would kiss an AIDS victim in 1985 ? Collective Guilt.
I’m going to stop reading blog comments for a few days. But before I go, I want to say that I am getting the distinct impression that a GREAT NUMBER of people who comment on blogs were in grade school during Reagan’s presidency.
I am older. I remember Reagan.
I regret that most of what was written about Reagan in the press- especially in the alternative press- is not available on the Internet today (& if it’s not on the Internet, it doesn’t exist!).
It was a disgraceful 12 years for America- the years of Reagan and Bush-1.
I can’t even begin to express the gratitude, relief- even joy- that I felt when finally it was over and Clinton won the election in 92.
And likewise the horrible sense of dread that descended when the 2000 election was stolen. How many of us commented, in the early days of Bush’s first year, “We’ll be at war by the end of his first term in office.” It was so predictable when the old cast of characters began to take their places in positions of power.
Please don’t rely on your fuzzy memories of a grandfatherly Reagan- a smiling, Cronkite-like man with a twinkle in his eye… calmly reading the scripts prepared for him by propagandists. The man on the television speaking to you in your living rooms WAS AN ACTOR!
If you feel the need to mourn, then mourn for the loss of the Reagan character you wanted to believe in. BUT KNOW THAT THIS CHARACTER WAS NOT REAL!
The administrations assembled at the White House during the Reagan/Bush-1 years were every bit as harmful to America as the current administration- but this was a time before the Internet, before endless cable news reporting… it was a very different time… when secrets were more easily kept out of mainstream discourse.
Don’t fall for the lies or the revisionism about the Reagan Presidency.
The Reagan/Bush-1 administrations were not that different from the type of Republican leadership we have now. They’re all the same breed of Republican; the lyrics may change, but the tune remains the same.
It is our willingness to believe in the myth of their “personable leaders” that enables this wing of the Republican party to ascend to power; and whenever these Republicans gain power, there is more poverty, greater suffering, and usually war.
READ the New York Times obit and try to even find any mention of AIDS! You’re not gonna, cuz it aint there, the bastards. As far as Rob’s commnet on ‘collective guilt’ – i don’t think equating what my parents might or might not have done to the horrific indifference of the leader of the most powerful nation on the planet is very useful. 27,000 Americans died before Reagan said anything publicly – not even when his friend, Rock Hudson died; 60,000 died by the time he left office. If history is to give him credit for helping end the Cold War, it f**kin’ better point out that he sat silent during the worst epidemic this country had during my lifetime.
One need have only visited ZoneDK (i’m old enough, too) to know, too well, that a President, Pope, or Mr Crisp himself denouncing unsafe behavior wouldn’t have done enough.
Thousands continue(d) to party and play, and shall die, unfortunately. Words of other men don’t diminish our guilt.
The man was wrong, sure.
But, he had little to do with creating or fostering our cultural ignorance, be it straight or (especially) gay culture.
.rob adams
I am so glad that this forum exist! Above and beyond all else Reagan was 1) A racist and 2) An actor. He knew about the Contra Gate aswell as he knew abour Old Ollie selling crack cocaine in the inner city to help make money for the Contras. So true that his suffering ended years ago when he developed Alzheimers. The crack is still in the streets.
rob adams/hash07:
If google has served me well (it always does), might I point out that you were 12 years old when Reagan was elected? I don’t know about you, but I didn’t really pay much attention to domestic politics and health care policy issues when I was in elementary school (or even in junior high). Perhaps you were an exceptional child.
I’m sorry that you have so much anger- apparently for older gay men. I don’t know your issues surrounding this topic, so I won’t judge. But you judge others with your words.
There’s no excuse for Reagan, however, since his contempt for gay men – expressed by six years of silence in the face of a huge public health epidemic under his watch- demonstrated that he was a man without a shred of compassion. Because he was the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, he is fair game for criticism- especially in face of current media attempts to portray him as some sort of U.S. saint.
And yes, many of us who survived are still angry. As we spent nearly all of our young adult lives attending funeral after funeral of our closest friends- and in those days most of the dying were gay men- our President and his policy advisors said nothing. Nothing at all. Until over 40,000 of us had died, he didn’t feel compelled to acknowledge that anything out of the ordinary was happening.
The largest unexplained public health crisis of the 20th century began in the early days of his presidency- and he said nothing.
Today, after more than 500,000 deaths, a SIGNIFICANT number of gay men- who today would all be older than you, Rob– are GONE.
You won’t hear their anger expressed this week… on these blogs or on television… thousands of young voices… many brilliant, creative, activist young voices… GONE.
Try to imagine them- try to hear their anger!
Right now, in this dialogue between you and me, my voice is all they’ve got.
To all of the right-wingers who implore us not to dishonor the memory of Reagan, I would like to remind them that when we ignore the ugly truths of Reagan’s legacy, we dishonor the memories of thousands.
For you, Rob, I have no anger. I just want you to try to understand.
Be well. Find peace.
You Reagan haters are a funny lying bunch..
“Old Ollie selling crack cocaine in the inner city to help make money for the Contras”
Bullshit. Again proving a little education is dangerous thing. Despite getting the hostages, and stopping the proliferation of communism in this hemisphere, what Oliver North did was wrong. But like most knee jerkin morons, you can’t be satisfied with the facts. You have to embellish. Sad.
“Today, after more than 500,000 deaths, a SIGNIFICANT number of gay men- who today would all be older than you, Rob– are GONE.”
Because of Reagan. Do I have that right? Moronity. Couldn’t have been because gay men refused for years to heed warnings from those within their own community. Couldn’t have been the refusal to shutdown bath houses and tug parties. Couldn’t be the increase in heroin users following the Vietnam War? Couldn’t be the lack of the blood industry to develop a viable screening test. Couldn’t be the explosion of air travel that allowed a person like Gaetan Dugas ‘Patient Zero’ who travelled extensively worldwide infecting individuals via direct sexual contact.
No, being told to take responsibility for ones own behaviour is exactly the reason you hate the man. (if you must stick your hoohah in another man’s hee hee…wear a rubber, maybe two. if you must chunk the junk, don’t share needles)
And Epidemic? In 1982 there were 285 cases reported in 17 U.S. states, hardly the top of the list.(see stats below) As many die from the RADON as from AIDS. I might have some sympathy for your idiotic position if you weren’t whining about affluent, mostly white 25-44 yr old men, who were / are afflicted with a mostly preventable disease and instead were speaking of the true tragedy that AIDS is in the third world, mainly Africa, which fully exploded on Clinton’s watch. He did a bunch, yeah?
Why think when you can simply emote. That’s fine for little girls. Are you a little girl?
I hope you find some peace and way to purge yourself of hatred.
stumbled across your blog after finding a link from someone else’s blog…
you were reading your weekly reader pages in 1980…
that got me, and i just wanted to say,
you seem like a very full-scoped, intelligent, omlet-loving person.
bon chance toujours,
-Claire