I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in days. I keep waking up around 4:00 in the morning and lying awake for an hour or so. Right now I need a nap.
I took yesterday off from work because I had some errands to do and because, well, now I can. One of those errands was to buy a recently-published book called The Renaissance Soul: Life Design for People with Too Many Passions to Pick Just One. It’s interesting so far, and I answered “yes” to most of the questions in this quiz.
One of the first things I did yesterday was go to the gym, taking advantage of the mid-morning emptiness. It wasn’t empty, but it wasn’t as crowded as it is at peak times. I realized that when I’m unemployed in a few weks, at least I’ll be able to go to the gym when it’s not so crowded.
Later, around noon, before going out to do my errands, I got nervous. I knew my errands wouldn’t take very long, and I wondered what I’d do with the rest of the day. Then I realized that once I’m unemployed, I’ll have a whole series of days like this.
Last week my therapist told me, based on her past experience, that many of her clients in my situation look forward to the idea of having empty days, but that in practice, they get tired of it pretty fast. She suggested I try to line up a new job before my current one ends. That made me feel guilty, because I was sort of looking forward to some empty days, and I felt like I was being judged as lazy. Not that there’s anything wrong with a little laziness. But the fact is, I’m often itching for something to do when I have too much unstructured time.
On the other hand, as one of my readers wrote to me:
Since when is an employer the only one able to provide structure to our lives? You never impressed me, through your writings, as a person still trying to develop self-discipline. Use the whole summer to impose your own structure, with your own (already well thought-out) ambitions as a condition, not some employer’s.
You have your whole life to work for others’ goals; An opportunity like this is fairly infrequent and you’ve been around enough to recognise that. You can do a lot in a whole summer, with just a little motivation and a healthy loss of fear (i.e., courage).
We’ll see.
I have a whole lot of self-assessment ahead of me.
Jeff, I’m 42 and have worked full time for the last 14 years or so. The idea of having a couple of months off to do what I want to do sounds like paradise. This may be one of the few times in the next 30 years that you’ll be able to just do your own stuff.
I’m curious to hear what you think of that book. I definitely identify as a renaissance man and I’m curious about what the book has to say.
My only concern is that after taking the quiz I read the line, “Do you want a Renaissance Soul coach who can help you with your Renaissance Soul life design?” That set off my woh-there sensor.
Why not start working toward finding something new that you will love, but without pressuring yourself to have something, anything lined up by the time your current job ends? Since you’re unsure of what the next direction should be, it may take awhile to find the right opportunity. This way you are being proactive and doing something, but chances are that you will also get some free time. Should the right opportunity present itself right away, you could certainly negotiate a delayed start date and give yourself a few weeks to bum around.