12 thoughts on “NY Blade Piece”

  4. Jeff, congrats on the piece!

    However.

    In your first paragraph, you say that perhaps you shouldn’t feel “scornful” of the men who had sex on the Hudson piers. You failed on that point, your scorn comes through loud and clear.

    At the heart of your piece is your obvious revulsion for anonymous sex. Well and good, it’s not for everybody, that’s for sure. I’d be curious if you’ve ever *had* anonymous sex, whether you’ve ever known the explosive rush of getting it on with someone who doesn’t want dinner, your phone number, or even your name. Bookstore, bathhouse, piers, Jeff? Ever? What is “scary” to you is wildly erotic for others, know that.

    And while I get your concerns about the current vogue of barebacking and the possibiity of seeing another round of health disasters, here’s what I get from you about the guys on the Hudson piers: “They were ugly unwashed stupid whores”. You come *this* close to saying that they got what they deserved, but you save yourself with “they had no idea what they were doing to themselves.”

    They weren’t having “unprotected sex”, Jeff. They were just plain old *fucking*. Safer sex had not yet been invented. What I’m seeing here is priggishness and sanctimony cloaked as pity and concern.

  7. Jeff, congratulations on getting your piece published. It’s always a great feeling to see your work in print.

    However, I wanted to let you know that as I read your piece, I was appalled at the full blast of scorn and loathing that you heap on a generation of men you never knew. You ask yourself how men of the 70’s could have been so stupid? It’s clear that you understand nothing of the gay experience of the last half century if you have to ask that question.

    What experience are you basing your seemingly vast and corrosive knowledge of the period on? A movie? Subjective at best.

    Have you ever actually spoken to someone who lived through the 70’s, actually having sex, actually in those locations? It’s clear you haven’t.

    Some of those men you seem to disdain so much actually still exist, you know. I’m one of them. Guess what? I’m also HIV negative. I’d say that your piece reeks of the Sex Panic arguments that were so prevalent in the 90’s. Sex is not the enemy. Let’s not demonize anonymous sex, and those that choose to indulge in it.

    Your analogy comparing pier sex and the Holocaust is specious at best and insulting to both.

    Oh, and all those horrific fashions? You know, the unkempt hair, the mustaches, the clothes? Open your eyes. Right now there are no end of boys your age in the process of co-opting that look and making it the the very lastest word in fashion.

    But again, congratulations on getting published.

  8. Larry Kramer\’s _Faggots_ came to mind when I read this article. Was the position defensible, is it? Perhaps. Speaking from my experience–limited by some people\’s definitions, certainly not in the 1970s–there\’s something to be said for the suggestion that overindulgence of desire. That old joke about George Best comes to mind.

    George Best is staying in the most expensive suite in a hotel. Miss World is in his bed. There\’s money strewn all over the room because Best had had a very good evening at the gambling tables.There\’s a knock on the door. Room service has arrived with champagne.

    The guy from room service is blown over to see it\’s George Best. Full of empathy for his hero he says \’George! George! Where did it all go wrong?

  9. Joe – yes, I have had anonymous sex.

    I’ve often thought that had I been born 20 years earlier, I’d have been one of those who died. I don’t know if that’s necessarily true – and, Mark, as you point out, maybe it’s not – but it’s what I’ve thought. One thing that prompted this piece (not that it was a conscious thing) was my feeling that I’ve escaped death merely because I happened to be born in one year and not another. That I’m no different than my gay forebears were.

    I have a very conflicted relationship with gay sex, and it has affected my view of the 70s. That said, in my piece I was trying to show a change in my feelings. After all, as I said, guys in the 70s were just having fun and didn’t realize they were spreading HIV.

    But perhaps I didn’t succeed in conveying a change in my opinions, or perhaps I still have mixed opinions. Upon rereading my piece, I see that I should have reworded this part: “Sometimes I ask myself how those men in the 1970s could have been so stupid. Then I remember: They didn’t know any better.” That sounds condescending and I might have phrased that differently.

  10. Congratulations on getting published! I enjoyed the article a lot, it makes me want to learn more about the history of AIDS and reminded me that I still have to read “And the Band Played On.” Do you have any recommendations about books to read?

  11. I really think this whole debate on gay sex in the 70’s is generational.

    One paradox I’ve noticed is that those who lived though it often want to defend it (but at the same time want victim status) while those who lived after it often want to use it as a cautionary tale (but at the same time want to recreate it).

    The article also brings up the debate over where the blame falls when someone is spreading a disease they do not know exists. One can argue that “safe sex” as a concept did not exist until the AIDS crisis; much in the same way being “homosexual” was a concept that didn’t exist until modern times. However, it’s hard to deny that condoms and gays existed before those times, respectively. Pleading ignorance does not pardon one completely, I think.

    But yes, Jeff, controversial piece! Congrats!

  12. Bravo for your article! As a 44-year-old man I agree with the thrust of your remarks.

    After reading your piece it seems quaint to think that the way my World War II dad and mom met might still be the best route to forming a long lasting relationship. Whether we give voice to it, or even are aware of it, each of us craves and needs that ‘other half’ to sustain us in the dark days and laugh with us when the sun is out. Given that society for too long made it difficult for gay men and women to organize relationships in public the gay sub-culture developed.

    Let me frank about it. It wasn’t healthy, physically, mentally, or emotionally. Living ones life by base actions and emotions is not a very constructive way to go through life. I think that AIDS in some ways has allowed a closeness to develop among gay men and a conversation to take place that is a strengthening factor in the gay community.

    As one who developed a drug adherence program for a local AIDS service provider I can attest to the horrific nature of the disease. But I can also see how this same disease has brought to the forefront the need to foster true relationships among gay men as opposed to random meaningless sex. In addition with the social advancements gay men (and women) are making teenage boys, college guys, young professionals, and others no longer need go the parks or piers. We have gained a place in society where my partner and I are no longer the ‘odd couple’ but now can be described as just as boring and common as our neighbors.

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