I’ll be working at the New York City Gay Pride Parade tomorrow. (OK, technically, it’s a march.) Members of my chorus will be helping direct parade traffic at intersections. I’ve never volunteered at the parade before, although I did march one year.

One of the chorus members who has helped with parade traffic in the past said, “You don’t know the meaning of power until you hold up your hand to tell Chuck Schumer to stop walking and he stops.”

Me, I have this fear that I’m going to cause a big pedestrian pileup. I imagine myself realizing too late that I’m supposed to stop traffic, so I quickly hold up my hand and cause a row of high-heeled drag queens to fall over like dominoes, the last one knocking over a big barrel of lube that spills its contents and causes a group of Speedo-wearing rollerskaters to slip and slide and knock over more people, etc. etc.

But I’m sure it’ll be fine.