I look forward to this week every year, and it almost always disappoints me. But I’ve been taking a different attitude toward it this time, and I’ve been a little happier because of it.
The last week of the year is pretty special for several reasons. One, it’s bookended by Christmas and New Year’s Eve; even though I’m not a Christian, I do get caught up in all the holiday spirit. Two, my birthday falls in the middle of the week, which gives the week special meaning for me, as well as a special rhythm and texture. Three, it’s the week when most of the Oscar-bait films come out, so it’s a great time to go to the movies. Four, I almost always take this week off from work.
I usually imagine filling my time by going to the movies, going to museums, having a nice lunch somewhere, enjoying the holiday spirit of the city. But I usually set up so many expectations for this week that I wind up disappointed.
I never do as much as I plan to do, and many things that sound interesting in theory wind up not being so in practice. Matt doesn’t like artsy-fartsy movies, so usually I either have to see them by myself — which makes me feel lonely — or not at all. And many museums wind up not being as interesting as I anticipated. For my birthday, I send out an invite to almost everyone I know in the city inviting them to a cozy bar, and only a small handful of people show up because most people are out of town. And then I feel so much pressure to have a great New Year’s Eve — to at least go to a party — but Matt is content to watch the ball drop on TV (and he doesn’t even care all that much about it) and then go to bed. And we don’t have a very big social life; there are actually no couples in the city — gay or straight — that we socialize with. So I tend to passively wait for invitations, and they don’t come. (I know that one needs to extend invitations to get them, etc., and I know that most people assume that when you’re a couple, you’re content to spend time alone together.) And then the week is over, and so is the whole holiday season, and it’s January and back to work.
So the week sometimes winds up a downer.
Last year was actually lots of fun, because we spent most of the week in Tennessee visiting Matt’s family, and we did something fun or interesting almost every day, and even when we were just sitting around the house, there were other people around. But the year before that, we were at home, and I flipped out a couple of times because we were living in a cramped apartment, and I was bored out of my mind and Matt and I could barely agree on anything fun to do.
So I decided that this year would be different. I decided to have zero expectations and just go with the flow.
And it’s been really nice.
Since I haven’t expected much, I haven’t been disappointed. Matt has had to go to his office almost every day, so I’ve had to find stuff to do, but it hasn’t been so bad.
On Christmas Eve, we went out for Chinese. It wasn’t great, but whatever. On Christmas Day, we opened some presents from Matt’s family, and in the afternoon we went out for Japanese.
On the day after Christmas, Matt and I went to see Tangled, a movie we both wanted to see, and it was cute. It snowed all day and into the night, and I love snowstorms, so it made the day nice and cozy. For dinner, I made chili, while everything outside turned to white.
On my birthday, instead of having sent out an invite to lots of people and having barely anybody show up, I had a really nice dinner out with Matt. Afterwards, we met up with three friends who had already expressed interest in getting together or I knew would be able to come. (A fourth wound up snowed in and unable to come out.) Our little group had a nice night drinking together.
The next day, the 28th, I went to Macy’s in Herald Square to exchange some Hanukkah gifts. Even though Macy’s was packed, I felt like I got out of the house and did something and interacted with people. At night, Matt and I had leftover chili for dinner, and then we watched the Kennedy Center Honors, which is one of my new holiday week traditions.
Yesterday, I went to the movies with an old friend who’s in town this week. We saw The King’s Speech, which is the only Oscar-bait movie that has called out to me. (True Grit and The Fighter don’t seem like they’d interest me, but I might see the former anyway.) I loved the movie. Afterwards, we trudged through the slushy streets and had a couple of drinks together, and it was great to socialize and catch up more with my friend. At night, Matt and I ordered in some dinner and watched TV.
So it’s been a nice week so far. Tonight we’re seeing what is supposed to be a spectacularly bad production of Dracula. On New Year’s Day we’re seeing Three Pianos. On January 2nd, I’m seeing a show with my mom and then getting together with the rest of my family for a belated birthday dinner.
If you try not to expect everything to be all perfect and exciting, you can wind up having a really nice time.